… this means a belief in a Creator who is all power, justice, and love; a God who intends for me a purpose, a meaning, and a destiny to grow, however… haltingly, toward His own likeness and image. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 51
As I began to understand my own powerlessness and my dependence on God, as I understand Him, I began to see that there was a life which, if I could have it, I would have chosen for myself from the beginning. It is through the continuous work of the Steps and the life in the Fellowship that I’ve learned to see that there is truly a better way into which I am being guided. As I come to know more about God, I am able to trust His ways and His plans for the development of His character in me. Quickly or not so quickly, I grow toward His image and likeness.
GUIDANCE
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{ 42 comments }
I have no quest for faith.
I was born with it-as I feel all people are.
My parents nurtured it, unknowingly. Naturally.
Like quenching a thirst.
Wiping a falling tear.
Giving a definitive answer.
Many sadly cannot, will not, or want not to believe-to Be faithful.
To believe in a power greater than themselves.
The power from within. The power to heal.
They have never been faithful-anywhere-anytime-any place-with anyone, let alone God. Let alone themselves. Never.
You really cannot prove God to be…you just know.
I trust in Her.
I pray for you.
And, for me.
Now as always…
aa gives life , aw so sweet thank you
Amen!! What a delight to have a clear head and no craving for booze! Now I am truly grateful for a loving God in my life and for peace and serenity — “……. comprehend the word serenity and know peace.”
The hoop has lots of room to get thru, as pertaining to my belief in God or higher power, I don’t think I didnt believe I just didn’t think this God thing would work, alcohol has a way of pounding me into submission or as it says “John barlycorn is AAs greatest advocate. I didn’t think this would work for me so I went out and tried it some more after waking up in jail I realized I couldn’t continue doing it on my own….
“An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature.” – Big book.
With this as a sound foundation for launching a worthy and worthwhile experience towards healthy and wholesome change and being convinced through honesty, open-mindedness and willingness I want to show by being a living example that it works.
If it would work on such an unlovely creature as I, it would work for anyone who gives it a chance.
I’m Harry, grateful alcoholic. – Georgia, USA.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
I often stand at a crossroads confronted with choices that can result in chaos or clarity.
Asking and praying for help has always been difficult for me. I was the “master of my Universe”. I viewed ferreting out counsel as a sure sign of weakness. I often blindly charged into the abyss alone, filled with emotion and false bravado. The outcomes of such action were more often than not negative.
I stop, listen and pray for guidance now when I need to make a decision. A choice must be made. A decision that will influence an outcome that is far from certain. This quiet reflection with God calms me and brings me peace. “HIS WILL and not mine be done”
Anything less than a full embracing of step 3, for this alcoholic, leads to unfulfilled expectations and the inevitable return to resentment with all of the negative consequences.
peace
Life is good for me today. I don’t understand what my higher may be, but its working for me. AND OH, what a relief. I feel it working each day. For the first time in my life, I am excited about waking up and living. I have so much to be grateful for. Bless everyone!
Simple program ut hard work. A fella shared he thought of using last night. He was told he was ungrateful, riding the pity train. I thought of how I don’t know anybody who’s made it without putting the pen to the paper and validating our thoughts. Gratitude lists, inventory etc. We must be open-minded, willing and honest to look at ourselves on a daily basis. If not working the program, I’m at work or school. I put the pen to the paper as often as I can and I seek guidance. I’m grateful to the god of my understanding and all of you here for sharing!
Hi Danimal
Thanks for the advice. I pray every day for God to lift the obsession for a drink. Some days are good and some days are not. I am on my 33rd day since relapse on Jan 19. I dont want to go back there. Life is so good without it. Why the craving then? Its literally like a demon. Don’t want to sound like a weirdo but wish I could have an exorcism of sorts. But I guess the exorcism comes about by attending meetings, fellowship, honesty, prayer and meditation. Tree
Tree, I remember when I was early in recovery, someone who had been in the program for many years pulled me aside and told me a lot of the biological and chemical things that the body goes through over the months. I forget all the details, but I do remember him saying that the effects of alcohol are in your body for a long time, and your body may crave it. All I can say to that is ask your higher power to remove the cravings (God, relieve me of this desire/fear and direct my attention to what you would have me be. Amen).
I also remember seeing in the big book (p133) where it talks about eating chocolate (or candy). I don’t know if it works or not, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be in the BB if it wasn’t important.
I’ll keep you in my prayers that you will stay faithful.
God Bless,
John N
Hi John N
Thanks for your kindness and prayers. I also have to just keep thinking one day at a time and that yes it takes time for the body to heal. What a wondrous creation we are. I read some where that pain in itself is endured but the fear of the pain and all we associate with it is what sets us off. So I will try to think logically about the anxiety and insomnia. Ask for Gods help and realize my body is healing. Take the positive approach.
Tree
As they say ‘Surgeons cut, God heals’
Nameste Tree. Good to read your shares.
Shrin, alcoholic
hey girl just remeber that your in a tug of war between the old and the new. there fighting like hell to keep you in chains, but your calling out for helpto the one who can cut them. thats where faith with out works come into play we cant do this alone we need help . we need the people in are lives to allow are higher power to speak threw . you will win keep going your not alone. love ya
You don’t sound like a weirdo Tree. That is a very apt description of what we have gone or are going through.
Amen to that… I would love it if there was some magical wand they could waive over us so that we never have the desire again. The simple beauty though is, AA works, and if we do the steps, and we give to the program (remember, it is not a GET program), and turn things over to our higher power it will work for us. How great is that!!
Tree,
Congats on 33 days! As far as describing the angst in us in battling our “condition”, Romans 7 gives a perfect description of the battle we face between the enemy,self, and the world. Fortunately Romans 8 tells us the cure
Tree, I would suggest ‘Living Sober’ a good publication from AA. Has simple strategies. I was a wreck for a few months after I came from the relapse. A lot of prayers on my knees, and working the program with sponsor, meetings, service etc helped. The best feeling I had during the initial days was when I picked up trash and coffee cups. Service drives obsession away, how I don’t know, but it does.
Shrin, alcoholic today and ever
There is nothing more comforting to me than the acceptance that I’m not in control. For I may do the leg work, but my higher power does the fancy footwork!
Have an awesome possum day! I believe in each of you!!
~A~ on cape cod
“That there was a life which, if I could have , I would have chosen for myself from the beginning.”
I have come to believe today that the should-azzz, would –azzz and could –azzz are what keeps me from living this day in the sunshine of the spirit……. Right now, right here, this moment…. is my beginning I choose his guidance through this day .
Tanks for letting me share
Aj a drunk in remission at this momment
Good am- I sometimes get discouraged with myself even in sobriety, yes Iam powerless over alcohol yes my life was unmanageable,yes a power greater than myself has restored me to sanity -most days
. Yes I turn my will over to a higher power and now it’s time to take action I continually find ways not to move forward. I struggle with why this seems so daunting. I know my higher power has guided me to this point and it’s my turn to start the heavy lifting and I know this same HP will not abandon me, ever, and yet the struggle continues. I am the person living step 1,2,3 1,2,3 over and over and my soul tells me there’s more work to be done. The fellowship tells me where the solution is in the steps but I seem stuck in 1,2,3. I have no desire to drink today and that’s a great blessing.
I have a program today it’s not perfect but I
have a program today and for that I am grateful. Think I will revisit step 3 prayer today.
Hi fellow aa family, this is kt an alcoholic on the road to help family w housing situation. As i continue driving i am reminded of my misconceived thoughts i had of other people in the program as i walkef into rooms as a newcomer. I thought i was special and different. I was different all right, because as soon as i could i would bolt through those doors. Today with a growing belief in a hp who i choose to call God, i have more trust and faith so i am attempting w Gods help to be less judgemental of family that needs help. I also am trying not to make fast codependent decisions to fix the situation. I am trying to let Go let God and asking God to help me repeat the serenity prayer. Especially the wisdom part. Thank each of u for your shares, fo some reason i have shared but not been able to have posts shared. It is probably a tech thing coupled w a God thing. Thanks again kt codependent road warrior
Hi KT
I also had trouble with posting but Ain V told me to hit the submit button twice. It will tell you you have already posted but only one post shows. It worked for me hope it works for you. Also click the two buttons below the submit button if you want to get email notification of follow ups. Hope this helps
God is LOVE.
When I drift away from my HP, I begin to feel restless, irritable and discontent. But it does not immediately occur to me to name it this way. And there are interim stages leading to this state. It often begins with some minor slight or annoyance that I consciously choose to groom and polish like the pearl to the oyster, though my better self whispers “let it go.”. Then I compare myself to friends or strangers, doing the math on who has come out on top. Eventually I begin to focus on all the imperfections around me, the things that don’t live up to their promise, their guarantee of flawlessness. When my rose colored glasses finally cloud over completely, I sit, brooding, waiting for the next conflict, poised for unhappiness. When the light of AA illuminates again in my damaged brain, I remember what to do. I feel my way back to the path, and resume trudging, looking back to where I took the wrong turn. Maybe next time I will remember. Maybe not. Zuzu on a bus in Cancun, Mexico
HI Zuzu
All I can say is thank you. I feel just like you do. My therapist always tells me about taking the wrong turn. But the beauty is you can always find your way back to the path by the Almight power of the universe I choose to call God.
Cancun is beautiful. I enjoyed spending time there with my Mother and Sister. Great Memories. Enjoy!
Hi Zuzu,
Your comment reminds me of a poem that I heard when I first came to recovery:
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost — I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in — it’s a habit.
My eyes are open; I know where I am.
It is MY fault.
I get out immediately.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
I walk down a DIFFERENT street.
LOVE it!
watch the movie groundhog day—the fella stepping in the puddle…
Well, when it comes to God, I’ve learned a few basics. First of all, the more I try to learn about Him, the more I realize I don’t know. Condensing God into a comprehensible pocket of knowledge leads to disappointment and bitterness. God is never changing. Yet God is not predictable. And when it comes to God, things aren’t black and white. Except for when they are. Basically, my mind cannot wrap itself around God no matter how hard I try. And basically, the less I try to make God more like me, the more I want to know Him and abide in his love. I strive to just free fall into his spiritual arms.
What if it wasn’t a wrong turn? Perhaps the life on life’s terms means dealing with issues with feelings you didn’t expect? I’m all confused when I can’t define “it”! At this point, before, I would have started to backslide. Today, with willingness and faith, going to meetings, figuring out how to ask for help, I pray I am insulating myself against slipping and doing the next right thing to keep my recovery strong.
Maggie, trudging
@Maggie: “I’m all confused when I can’t define it”
That’s creativity in action. Where would we be as a civilization if we didn’t have confusion!
That’s when the tools say, “Hey! I’m here-right here!! Use me!”
It’s not for you to define it.
It’s for you to react in a positive proactive manner.
Energy radiates from the sun. The Earth reacts to that radiation.
Sometimes quickly sometimes slowly. Sometimes healing sometimes destructive.
A boy plays with the butter in his grits-until they’re cold.
He says “Mommy my grits are cold.”
…how do you react?
How do you want to react?
How should you react?
Not reacting is reacting.
“Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind…what we sow is what we reap.
And when we chose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of our karma is happiness and success.”
“The Law of ‘Karma’ or Cause and Effect”
(or did I miss the point-I can do that!)
You are on target my friend. Order always arises out of chaos and there is not a damn thing we can do about it. Other than deny the wisdom of Gods creative processes. When I patronize the delusion that I am large and in charge, my focus gets consumed by the delusion and I miss the miracles of Gods work in the present. Fortuitously, She was able to guide me to the care of the community of AA, that provided me with a safe environment to learn and grow in the Spirit of AA. They taught me acceptance, acceptance of my human condition and acceptance of God’s grace in my life. They taught me how to be grateful, honest, and open-minded and willing to go to any lengths. None of these virtues were anything that I really knew much about. I thought I did but I didn’t.
I learned to step out of myself and observe – observe my behavior and my thoughts. As Paul pointed out I had wired my brain to build mental structures that supported my ego and my insane thinking.
What I love about the community of AA and the kind members of this online Sangha, is that the people in this community is real and authentic. A bit rough around the edges in their brutal honesty, but it was certainly the touch stone that I needed on a frequent basis.
In Tebet the word for “Authentic Presence” is wangthang, which literally means a “field of power”. If a person is humbly honest, openminded and willing; they manifest some sense of good and wholesome being to those around them. There are a some good arguments that alcoholism is contagious, or as they call it a “family disease”. I suspect that getting well and Spiritual growth is also contagious, because I am certainly getting more out of the fellowship then I put into it. As my grandmother used to say, “Birds of a feather flock together.” I for one am grateful for the new flock of pigeons that I now have as TRUE friends.
You read me right on. And your words help me. If I can’t define it, accept it? And be positively proactive in areas that I can define? I feel like I’m coming out of a fog, but in waves, clarity, fog, clarity, fog. Jeez, sometimes I HATE this growth stuff!
I share the same confusion, Maggie. I have been reading scriptures of different religions. But I pray to the ‘father, my creator’. In Gita (Hindu scripture) God says ‘you cannot understand me, you cannot define me’.
But the central is love. So God is love and all love, I think and believe.
Thanks Shrin. And the beauty of AA is that I can be all over the place with “feelings” and not drink. Working through this stuff in authenticity.
… this means a belief in a Creator who is all power, justice, and love; a God who intends for me a purpose, a meaning, and a destiny to grow, however… haltingly, toward His own likeness and image. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 51
I am convinced Bill Wilson left to his own devises would have run A.A. into the ground pretty quickly. Thank God he found Dr. Bob
Tree look up Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (P.A.W.S.) on line.
There is a lot of use full info about what you are going through as you central nervous system and body sort things out.
It can be scary and very uncomfortable but no you are not going nuts.
i have always new a god of my understanding i just choose a diffrent path the one i wanted not the one my higher power whaned for me. I sure did earn my seat around these tables i sure did not get here on a winning streek now i just need to learn to here what my higher power is telling me. not what i think im hereing it jusst gets me in trouble i sstrugle with working the steps some times i just dont eant to do any thing at all thank you all for listening to me ramble and thanks for sharing
Hazelden published 3 individual books by Guy Kettelhack (a recovering alcoholic and at that time an analyst-in-training) back in 1992. They are titled “First Year Sobriety -When All That Changes is Everything”, the next is “Second Year Sobriety – Getting Comfortable Now That Everything Is Different” and lastly, “Third Year Sobriety – Finding Out Who You Really Are.” They are along the lines of the Big Book and Living Sober. I found them to be valuable reading when I started out 6 years ago and they were suggested to me along with “Drinking – A Love Story” by Caroline Knapp by my doctor who also highly encouraged me to start to attend AA meetings. The universal point is we are not all alone and all that unique in a our recovery and we share many a common fear, thought, concern etc.
P.S. I hope this does not post twice by accident.
The greatest line in Drinking-A Love Story was the author’s observation that if you wake up at 300AM wondering if you have a drinking problem, you have a drinking problem. That’s an excellent place to start the journey of finding a power greater than ourselves who could solve our problems for us.
I just saw a sign and thought it worth sharing; ” We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them” I had a “sour hour” today and thought of the topic today then saw this sign and realized that God does have something in mind for me despite my best efforts to think otherwise.
I just saw a sign and thought it worth sharing; ” We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them” I had a “sour hour” today and thought of the topic today then saw this sign and realized that God does have something in mind for me despite my best efforts to think otherwise.
Make 3 wishes.
Dreamed of a nun in black and white robe yesterday. Saw her in St Josephs Oratory today as a statue…the biggest impression was a golden Aladins Lamp embedded in the front of a white marble alter..on the alter large statue of Mary and above a very large stain glassed window of the nativity. Being ash Wednesday there were a few folks meditating in the crypt church. One lady starred at me thinking is this guy talking to the statue. In a way I do.
So the state of my life is now I don’t know what to do with myself, looking for direction. I know it seems nuts but not as crazy as a life with no goals. 18 months and counting (first time I had a 9 years dry drunk)