At once, I became a part–if only a tiny part–of a cosmos…. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 225
When I first came to A.A., I decided that “they” were very nice people–perhaps a little naive, a little too friendly, but basically decent, earnest people (with whom I had nothing in common). I saw “them” at meetings –after all, that was where “they” existed. I shook hands with “them” and, when I went out the door, I forgot about “them.” Then one day my Higher Power, whom I did not then believe in, arranged to create a community project outside of A.A., but one which happened to involve many A.A. members. We worked together, I got to know “them” as people. I came to admire “them,” even to like “them” and, in spite of myself, to enjoy “them.” “Their” practice of the program in their daily lives–not just talk at meetings –attracted me and I wanted what they had. Suddenly the “they” became “we.” I have not had a drink since.
I'M PART OF THE WHOLE
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{ 25 comments }
We are all irrevocably linked……recognition of the common bond of humanity came, for this alcoholic, after some time in sobriety.
peace
I am certainly a privileged part of and blessed because today I know I am as sober, honest, open-minded and willing as I can possibly be through my own volition, aided by a power which I am in concert with and who is in concert with me.
A level of responsibility is part of privilege.
Seems I didn’t know that or I chose to ignore it or my disease constantly drove me into deeper levels of denial until finally Truth would not be denied.
Truth is I should be is nearly exactly opposite of what I was as God originally intended.
How do I discharge my responsibility?
Don’t drink, go to meetings, and carry the message.
I’m Harry, trudging alcoholic. – Georgia, USA.
Thanks harry I always like when you share.I know life is dificult and i sometimes don’t know how I made it when i was using.Have a great day All.Happy Baldman
My first AA meeting was full of people with tattoos and piercings all over themselves. More shocking still, they admitted to all kinds of despicable behavior, right there in front of everyone. Many of them had surely been incarcerated. These were the very ones my mother told me not to hang around with. Of course my mother was not entirely clear about what I myself had been doing lately. It was not so much the rough appearance of the AA group that seemed alien and contagious to me. Their honesty and freedom of public confession is what I found most disconcerting. Was I ever going to stand up in front of 40 people and describe my most shameful deeds? That would be the complete antithesis to the lessons of my upbringing. Before too long, however, I began to see how this unapologetic bluntness was in fact one of the highest forms of rebellion against the face saving inclinations of society. It was graduate school for my bad girl. I was in. Zuzu on holiday in Isla Mujeres, Mexico
Hello, family. Living in small town, surround by others small towns. I do not go many places without running into a member. You want a meeting befor the meeting it’s at the coffee shop. I enjoy being part of the family! Hoping I do for others what they do for me.
Yesterday, I had a lot of emotions running through me. In the dairy department at the market I ran into a woman from my home group. She huged me and we chatted about nothing really. While my son won her with his cuteness. It is those outside chats that sometimes do more for me than some inside the halls.
I am so very greatful for this fellowship & family! That my eyes and mind are now open enough to be a part of it. I love you all and believe in each of you!
~A~ on cape cod
My god its great to be “part of” today. In and out of the rooms is awesome. Why I fought so hard for so long sometimes escapes me. Then a newcomer walks in and I’m reminded.
Reaching out and helping them become “part of” keeps me going.
RickJ – IA
I remember when I went to my first meeting. I rememeber thinking that I would see the bums who live under the bridges. What I found instead was a group pf loving and honest people who accepted me as I was.
I don’t think I have ever meet a group of people who I am as proud to call my friends. Yes, there are some very fine people in chuch on Sundays, but they don’t live the message always. The folks in AA do.
I remember someone telling me how it must be scary to associate with the types in AA… honestly, I couldn’t have asked for a greater gift of friendship from God.
Well said, John! When I turned up to AA for the first time, I didn’t have any friends to call or mention. AA made me realise what alcohol had done to my sense of values: friendships and family mainly. The ppl in AA, helped me understand the value of friendship all over agian. I work on these things (Freindship and family) everyday, I no longer take them for granted. There worth more that gold.
Grateful Alcoholic. Jim K
Outside of the help with my recovery, being an AA member has allowed me to meet so many fine people who I never would have met otherwise. It used to puzzle me when people talked about being a “greatful alcoholic” but I no longer wonder.
I am a part of not a part from. I must keep coming back, to stay away from the drink and lead a happy life.
Love this way of life. I always wanted camaraderie, friendships, and laughter WITH, not laughter AT. I have all that and so much more today. Can never, ever repay what has been given to me that I did not deserve. I can only try to make this as welcoming a place as possible so that others may have the freedoms I enjoy. My job is to pass it on and do my best to practice it always so that I may attract others to this peace. alcoholic,alix
When I was drinking I used to hang out in a large city park and watch families and people in general do happy people things, and feel totally alienated from from them Probably because I was.
I have sense then been in meetings where I have been overwhelmed by a sense of belonging, And that is a very GOOD feeling. I also belong in my community today and thanks to A.A. am able to participate in a positive and productive manner. I even like to go to parks now.
Good morning from Kelowna,
I am really getting into your shares on the daily refections. Up till I found your site, I had been reading them and not having anyone to give feedback until I went to a meeting…..so this is really nice. My day starts out with great, healthy thoughts rolling around in my head.
Sometimes I don’t feel the fit when I am at AA meetings. It happens when I have allowed myself to slip back into my ego state….it doesn’t take a lot. I know the drill though…..I get on my knees praying for Gods guidance and within a few days I am back to my normal serene self. I start to feel like one of many at a meeting again.
Slowing down my thoughts and actions is also good for me too. i don’t do well when I have had too much coffee and I feel like I have so much to do I am being chased. My fears come in many shapes and forms…..God’s power over rides all that when I let it happen.
Reyn
Hey all,
I rushed out the door this morning without reading, and am so glad to have found this site!
I still struggle a little with the apart-from every now and then, but not even close to the “me vs. them” idea I had when I got here.
I just did a fifth Step with a new sponsor so I definitely feel closer to her now.
I find a lot of my apart-from feelings arise when I am sitting in judgment of others, and that is something I must continually work on in order to be of maximum service to God and my fellows.
Have a wonderful day!
Kat
Some experts believe that the human brain is hard-wired towards tribalism due to its evolutionary advantages. It is natural for us to seek out a group to belong to, we are simply social creatures. When I isolated and replaced my friends with alcohol, I was not behaving in a manner which is consistent with my nature which made me uncomfortable in my on skin and the more I isolated the more out of touch I became with others as well as myself. I was miserable and made people around me uncomfortable. The good people AA knew my pain and accepted me as one of their own. They taught me how to accept myself and to be change my view of living life on lifes terms. Today, I look forward to the adventure of the unknown each day. I also know that no matter of how bad it may be, I can always share it with my friends in the program.
And for me dr. bob!
Laughter, hunger and desire (s) are all human (mammalian) characteristics.
All warped by our own thought processes-our success.
Marry that with dyfunction brought about by alcohol and there’s your recipe for destruction.
We are victims of our own invention.
My employer drove me to my 1st home meeting in Palo ALto.
Like some of my tomato plants-it didn’t grow.
But like my Thai chili plants…the tough little hotties survived!
Such is life is the planters world.
You reap what you sow.
You are what you know.
Choose life!
My life My way.
My God.
Our Way.
(it’s a sunnish, coolish day here in the Valley of the Buck!)
I’m going through a growth period that has me at sixes and sevens! What has kept me grounded is this site every morning, going to meetings and not drinking. Keeping it real simple!
And Maggers, 6+7 = 13! A lucky number!!
Maggie, my mother died about five months ago now and I have personally become acquainted with the process and the occurrences in grieving that I had only known secondhand before.
I know it is universal and I also know it is supposed to have a purpose.
A pall has been overlying and seemingly intrinsic.
A good portion of the time I have also been in periods of confusion and seeming lack of direction. Certainly my joy has been diminished but I’m sure my faith has increased.
Now is the time for me to be sure that the saying of the wise people would surely be true; “THIS TOO SHALL PASS”.
I follow your postings with much anticipation and appreciation.
Keep coming back.
Harry
@Maggers-my reply I thought went to you…my bad…read below!
Thanks Harry & Anthony.
Harry, so, much of this lack of direction ( hit the nail), is partly the grieving process? It’s strange because I’ll be ” out of it” for stretches and then have moments of huge clarity. Makes sense to me. Thanks . I value your insights guys, even in cyberspace we get a sense of “knowing” each other and can feel when one of us is in trouble/ turmoil. I am grateful to be a part of this group.
Anthony, my feet and legs….arrhgg! Love the wordsmithing!
You’re the best.
Maggie and yes, this too shall pass.
Hi Maggie…(my first sexual girlfriend’s name)-Margaret.
I was 19 when my mother died.
I never got to speak one on one with Mom.
Not about my passions, her passions LIFE.
Unlike many people here in this room, I had a wondeful childhood.
Filled with fun. With laughter. With intelligence. Just today I posted (on Facebook) the house I grew up in.
I had loving parents. Anything I needed. .35 in my elementary school pocket. And all the crayons and pencils I ever dreamed of.
I cried myself to sleep…from 19 onwards. I think of her everyday. My Dad too.
My family is from another time.
My Dad was born in 1898.
Mom was very much younger. I would never change that.
So cry a little tnight. And remember the goodness in your Mom. And the mourning tears will become a remembrance of purity.
No matter how good. No matter how frail in integrity.
As HarryS said.
This too shall pass.
“Life is a casting off…” (Miller-Death of a Salesmen)
Maybe the Seven Sorrows of Mary can help you?
Boy am I grateful for this site.
…stick with it! I trudge or drudge-as you say-through it everyday.
Each day is a new day-I awake and say a liitle prayer.
Many times my prayers are for me! Yes, true.
I pray like, all young boys, for my pets (I no longer have).
I pray for Mom and Dad, (gone so very long ago).
I pray for my family and friends (far away and all too busy).
I pray as many men do, for a job to come through (but know far too many defeats add up to defeat…but I try)
I pray my feet will run again (I know differently-they too are gnarled and less than Greek)
I pray my pained legs will guide me through (Now I look to God to sail my ship through unsteady waters-so deep wide yet blue)
I pray as long as I have what’s left-I apply it with dignity and trust something positive will pass my way-on this most beautiful clearish sunny-ish coolish day…
Smiles from afar…
Hi all, Maggie my prayers and comfort r sent to u at this time. Grateful aa member kt