In the beginning, it was four whole years before A.A. brought permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the “high bottoms, ” the women said they were different; . . . The Skid-Rower said he was different . . . so did the artists and the professional people, the rich, the poor, the religious, the agnostic, the Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans, and the prisoners. . . . nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are finally down. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 24
I cannot consider myself “different” in A.A.; if I do I isolate myself from others and from contact with my Higher Power. If I feel isolated in A.A., it is not something for which others are responsible. It is something I’ve created by feeling I’m “different” in some way. Today I practice being just another alcoholic in the worldwide Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I'M NOT DIFFERENT
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I’m not different, but I have to keep telling myself that over and over. I was brought up believing that you had to be in the one true religion and have just the right kind of faith in order to communicate with God. This was literally beat into the bottom of my jeans. For thirty years I’ve been trying to get into the program but I always unconsciously ran into this wall. I was too different. I used to work the steps in less than one minute so I could go home and work on my sobriety. Sobriety never stayed around for long. Unconsciously I just couldn’t be around people that weren’t of the right religion. After my wife died a sad and lonely alcoholic death last March, that was so hard to watch, I realized that now I really needed to take a look at the twelve steps again. The fourth and fifth steps, when I really worked them this time, made me realize what a wall I had put up for myself. So I’ve just sat and listened now for months as the alcoholic fog cleared, and then the message came through, being different is going to get me just as dead as my wife and if I couldn’t communicate with God I was going to get drunk. I still have to struggle to keep the idea out of my head that God won’t talk to me because of all the wreckage in my past. But if God won’t have anything to do with me then who has been saving my butt all these years??. I thank God I stumbled onto this web site.
Glad You’re here!
I can feel the powerful impact of your experience and I pray for your strength and hope we may abound in your hope.
Good morning and welcome.
Randy, your share gives life to so many AA principles we hear and recite like theory or rhetoric. Your willingness to share from your own experience and profound loss make everything more real and immediate for all us. Thank you for this and for being here.
Your story is my story only a change of words to express your unique life experience. I’m the same as you. As the paradox explains: we are imperfectly human – or better yet, we are perfectly human, which is to say humanly imperfect. We are never complete, just slipping and sliding through life making mistakes. The spirituality of imperfection suggests that the first step is facing self honestly – seeing oneself as one is: mixed-up, incomplete and imperfect. Your story says you’re on this path once again. Keep a going!
Thanks for sharing,
Walt, An Alcoholic in Georgia
Welcome Randy. My god is a loving god. It makes recovery attainable.
So sorry for your loss. Please keep on sharing!
Maggie, trudger
God!
In school my power was the theatre.
I was good. Always a laugh. Drama.
Music in the night. Smiles abounding.
And so at university.
Happy times happy days.
Not much alcohol. Not needed.
Tried pot. No-like.
Graduation.
Chef school.
My power was fun.
Smiles abounding.
I was good. Natural.
Graduation.
Thought I was different.
Many countries. Many cities.
Many smiles. I was good. Engaging.
Success.
But, empty.
Inside no smiles.
The long steady wilderness of decline.
I am like you.
…just,
…different.
Pretty nice!!!
Thanks, Cookie
Nice, Anthony.
hi everyone, just for today i am blessed to be part of the fellowship. for so very long i was on the outside looking in thinking i could drink and go to meetings and that would surely make my life better. how tragic. i have truely surrenderd and i have a wonderful gift of soberity. it works. a.a. love, leslie 10-2-08
February 18 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 2 | 2012 | Today’s AA daily reflection: “picking up the spiritual tool kit.” My understanding of spiritual living is acceptance of life on life’s terms. If I can cope with the reality of my situation as it is right now, good, bad or indifferent, as long as my feelings fit reality and I know what my feelings are, my thinking and actions are the best they can be right now in this moment…
And if I can feel life as it is, think things through and get help when needed, my actions are likely to lead to a better outcome. The spiritual tool kit, that we have in fellowship contains the twelve steps and the twelve traditions, and especially the experience, strength and hope we share with each other in this one particular day. And the spiritual tool kit may contain all the wisdom we can gather to help us just one day at a time…
And the spiritual experience is always now, reality being lived in the moment. Of course we do develop wisdom which may apply in many given situations, the real key in spiritual is always being open, honest and willing to change as life changes. With our spiritual tool kit, each sober day offers acceptance of what we can do and cannot do and the wisdom to know the difference. We need never be alone and fearful, we can be together with faith and courage as life changes today…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
The nature of our friendships and relationships are always changing. We become close and intimate for a while. We change and they change. We feel deeply and when change happens, we feel loss. Letting go with love is bitter sweet grief, we do cherish always…
“OUR PATHS ARE OUR OWN… there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet.”
To Love Be Loved & Useful just for today..~ Tom Bodett “They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world. Someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” Hope is key in just one day, keep our expectations real and dreams may become reality in the moment of now..
Hope best experienced in the moment where it translates into reality through action ~ Carl Sandburg “Hope is an echo, hope ties itself yonder, yonder.” -/- Yonder without foundation is a rich fantasy, happy imaginings, living in the now we can transform our hopes into living experience on the path of of life..
One Coin or Chip kept close as a reminder, 24 hours is Just One Day ~ Satya Sai Baba “Man’s many desires are like the small metal coins he carries about in his pocket. The more he has the more they weight him down.” Enough to lighten the heart and let the world guide me to my next step..
Broken hearted, better we know we are heartbroken and face the reality one day at a time ~ Thomas Fuller “If it were not for hopes, the heart would break.” Then we learn hope and wisdom combined lead to less heartbreaks and more heartfelt moments..
Hope is facing reality ~ Pliny the Elder “Hope is the pillar that holds up the world. Hope is the dream of a waking man.” -/- I hope I feel real life as it is today day…
Daybreak, The Truth of Now, all we need is love, and to be included today ~ Aristotle “Hope is a waking dream.” Hello God, universe, world, nature, providence choices just for today…
AA Daily Reflection: OUR PATHS ARE OUR OWN FEBRUARY 18, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 25
My first attempt at the Steps was one of obligation and necessity, which resulted in a deep feeling of discouragement in the face of all those adverbs: courageously; completely; humbly; directly; and only. I considered Bill W. fortunate to have gone through such a major, even sensational, spiritual experience. I had to discover, as time went on, that my path was my own. After a few twenty-four hours in the A.A. Fellowship, thanks especially to the sharing of members in meetings, I understood that everyone gradually finds his or her own pace in moving through the Steps. Through progressive means, I try to live according to these suggested principles. As a result of these Steps, I can say today that my attitude towards life, people, and towards anything having to do with God, has been transformed and improved.
“When the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear.”
This is one of the great quotations of all time.
It is the giver and sustainer of hope.
Maintaining a sense of readiness, staying in a state of anticipation is not such a hard thing for I had lots of practice at it.
Wasn’t I always ready, didn’t I always look forward to getting a drink?
So I did have lots of practice of this aspect of personality but I did not have the right intentions.
Today, I’m focused on spiritual growth which is driven by desire to be of maximum service to God and man.
I’m Harry, grateful alcoholic. – Georgia, USA.
I used to spend my vacations drinking and being sick from drinking, blaming it on bad local water. Now I know the sublime extacy of a lobster taco. Zuzu chillin in Isla Mujeres, Mexico
YING
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you’re doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can’t get no relief, Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own –
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord – somebody – somebody
Can anybody find me – somebody to love?
(He works hard)
Everyday – I try and I try and I try –
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I’m goin’ crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah – yeah yeah yeah
Oh Lord
Somebody – somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I’m ok, I’m alright Ain’t gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I’m gonna be free, Lord!
Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Freddie Mercury
Come on in , ears are open and the coffee mostly good. Welcome to the fellowship of AA.
YANG
The Beatles
Lennon/McCartney
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done.
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It’s easy.
There’s nothing you can make that can’t be made.
No one you can save that can’t be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you
in time – It’s easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known.
Nothing you can see that isn’t shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be.
It’s easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
peace
Yeah but love doesn’t pay the bills.
Hi folks
I have just found this site.I love the feel of being the same and no longer different from my fellow. In the rooms of AA I feel part of and I feel so blessed.I surrendered finally on the 20th feb 2000 and if I keep contact with an aa every day and Holly my HP several times a day I am not alone one day at a time
God bless
Jan
Congratulations on 12 years! There but for the grace of Holly go I !
I’ve had the privilege to work with a couple of guys who pronounced their exemption from certain parts of the program based on their particular mental or emotional diagnosis; oddly, they haven’t been seen for a while. I’m reminded of my pre-AA thinking, going to see a kind and gentle shrink who suggested the possibility of alcoholism and AA. But doc, I can’t be alcoholic. I’m a this and a that…isn’t there a pill that will fix this sort of thing, an opiate preferably??
We laughed about it when I made my 9th step amend to him. Vive la différence?? In life, certainly. In recovery, maybe not.
All I have to do is ask equals humility for me. I still fight this today, I don’t always want to ask for help. Reminds me of school, I’ve asked two different tutors for help and they said yes to find out they didn’t really have time. I went down different roads to gain sobriety till finally I found the right one. It comes down to how bad do I want it. Will I go to any lengths? To succeed I must go to any lengths, I can’t do it on my own! I’ve found the love and security I need in this fellowship, now I must give it away. Now I must check my co=dependency issues and let people get well at their own pace and that depends on how bad they want it. Gods will not my own. I like not being different or having something in common with somebody. We’ve all got our own story but we’re all here. We do understand each other and I like that. If you must, you can share your story but you’re no different from the rest of us. I didn’t get here on a winning streak and I don’t the others did either! Today the stupid human tricks are for entertainment purposes only. I don’t cry the you don’t understand stories anymore. Today, I sit back and watch how the world rolls, don’t drink and help others! I’m trying to be a better person so I can help more people get out of the deep dark abyss of self-obsession and find a God of their understanding! Thank God and thanks for listening!
when i first started going to AA I did not know if it was for me i heard stories of people that would have to drink in the morring at work at all times of the day. i heard people say that they would have to drink when happy sad when they got that new job when they lost that job and so on. its when i heard the guy say he could go weeks even mounths with out that drink but when I would drink I would drink for days or weeks even mounths just could not stop i lost everything my wife my kids my home my job my freedoom my friends and still that was not enough I always would blame some one else. got married agin had more kids got a new job and lost the job the freedoom agin the wife was gonna leave me and take my kids i talked my way back in and it happned all over agin i decided to go to treatment and avoid loosing my family agin when i was there something happned i heard my storie and started to belive it was all my falt i called my wife told here the truth she almost left me i did not know if i had a family to come home to all i knew is i wanted to stop the insanity and learn a new way of liveing and i am thankfull i did today i do not consider my sself diffrent or special i am an alcoholic and thats how i got to the fellowship and i am greatfull recovering alcoholic named matt D
Thanks, Matt! I have the same story. You give me strength. I too, am learning to live life , or re-education myself again through the principals of AA. If I only had much earlier in my life.
Thanks again!
Grateful alcoholic. Jim K
Hello AA family, I must always remember that I am not different, or alone. But, recently I have not been sharing my feelings. Which is my stupid brain telling me no one will understand. Which keeps me from getting the support I need so much. I’m letting my fear keep me quite and wearing my mask that all is ok. I have never been good at sharing my emotions. But, that is no excuse! I need to let the light shine on the dark corners of my heart. Best wishes for a peaceful day, family. I believe in each of you!
~A~ on cape cod
Thank you all for your experience, strength and hope. I have not been to a meeting for 2 weeks and I just looked in my Daily Reflections book and February 20 is missing. Maybe I took it out for a reason? I am sober but after missing so meetings I guess you can call me a dry drunk. It is not fun.
I remember the feeling I had when my sponsor said I would never have to do one thing alone ever again…disbelief. I smile on that now because like most things, I was wrong. Between the good folk in A.A and a constant contact with the God of my understanding I have never been alone. Outside is what I did to myself- I am one of the youngest people in my A.A community so I thought there was NO way I’d have anything in common with senior citizen drunks- turns out I do! and dang proud- Stick with the WINNERS!
Emu congrats 0n 3 months!!!
The longer I am part of A.A. the more I realize you are me.
There is little or nothing I have thought, said, or done that you have not thought, said, or done. And yes I realize that our circumstances when and how we got to A.A. are not all the exactly the same. And I realize we all do not walk the same path in recovery. Both of which are very very good things or A.A. probably not exist.
But we all have one major thing in common. A progressive illness that can and will kill us given half a chance. No one is exempt from that!
Paul
Keno, Oregon
When I was deep in the hell of alcoholism, my husband said to me, “I don’t think you love me anymore!” Wow! It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized how that must have made him feel. The selfishness of this disease! Made an amends to him last night and he said, well, you didn’t love yourself, how could you love anyone else. I thank god for letting me live to be able to make that amend, for giving me such a wonderful partner for life and for giving me the time and AA to love myself again.
Back to making progress, not perfection!
You guys are fabulous!
Thanks for sharing Maggie! I lost the woman I loved through Alcohol and insanity. The more I involve myself in the steps, figuratively clearing my wounds. I realize the damage and hurt full things I have done to her. At the same time, I don’t want to fall into self pity. The time will come for me to make amends.
Thanks again for sharing! It meant a lot to me.
Jim K
Zuzu thats one of the things i love most about AA no matter how bad you feel or think you are. you all keep saing keep coming back and for that I am very thankfull thank you all for your experince strength and hope
Great Meeting today-
My sponor had a 40 year milestone!
(Someone asked if Noah really was a nice guy)
CU LTR!
(Hey ZZ save some Tacos 4me!)
I am coming up to my 3 month chip,and although have remained sober I just started doing the work this week and I am starting to get excited about life again this program is truly where I belong. God bless
Welcome and congratulations, Emu. Your excitement is instinctive and real. A truly amazing life is about to unfold for you. Its beauty will radiate to everyone in your environment. There will be some rough patches – just gravel on the highway to happiness. Keep coming back.