RECOVERY BY PROXY?
They [The Promises] will always materialize if we work for them. Alcoholics Anonymous Page 84
Sometimes I think: “Making these amends is going too far! No one should have to humble himself like that!” However, it is this very humbling of myself that brings me that much closer to the sunlight of the spirit. A.A. is the only hope I have if I am to continue healing and gain a life of happiness, friendship and harmony.
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The very gentle way that Alcoholics Anonymous dealt with me with my pervasive fear is absolutely amazing.
Even though I was a practicing professional and even though I had excellent and extensive training I still had feelings of deep insecurity in almost every situation that I encountered.
Were it not for the extensive background of training and its accompanying practice of those principles I never would have been able to survive it.
No one would be able to know the abject misery of this constant insecurity but I knew it.
The first step in getting better with this was to admit it in general in meetings. I remember sitting in meetings with this extreme fear and anxiety that I would be called on. They told me it was okay to pass.
My sponsor was gently encouraging me and he gave me some things to do that immediately started me having the sense that I was being included.
So step-by-step I was facing the reality of my discomforts and tremulously dealing with them. It started getting noticeably better. I began to have some confidence.
On it went until finally it culminated with me standing behind a thing called a podium and telling my story.
After that I felt like I could deal with most anything with the help of my fellowship friends and with the help of the God of my understanding.
This was at approximately the one-year point.
I am so comfortable in my own skin and inside my own brain that is astonishing.
I’m Harry, a courageous alcoholic who knows “a new freedom”.
Harry, Thank you so much for sharing! I just want to thank god for this wonderful program. This whole experience is helping me do things that I never thought were possible.
Man, I don’t care if I have to crawl on my belly to make amends. It’s my ass if I don’t. No shame in doing that which helps me stay clean and sober. I am so grateful to be free from the desire to drink today.
making ammends has I believe helped “them” as much as it’s helped me. tne difficult part for me is forgiving myself, accepting God’s forgiveness. there’s so many miracles to count is AA
His will not mine
Jeanie
I may have been called upon to take a service position in our district after a dozen years of “stepping aside” to allow the “joy of rotation”.
I am approaching this “f…ing growth opportunity” with trepidation and prayer! Providence knows what I need before I do.
This is just another reminder that the Promises say “work for them”, not “hang out drinking coffee and telling bs stories, going to meetings when it’s convenient, and paying lip service to the program and fellowship that saved my behind”.
When I come in here and say I “want what you have”, I know I will be asked to become “Willing to go to any lengths to get it.” I have never been asked to actually go to any lengths, it’s the willingness that counts.
The key to this for me is in the action. By completing the steps, which means honestly taking the actions outline in this simple program, I gain the result of this action, which are outlined in the promises. On those days in which I choose not to take the actions, the promises are not so easily fulfilled! Connection there…huhm?
I’m Dan, grateful recovering alcoholic, happy for this program of action, and its results!
Ok, ok,..I will keep working on amends. Thanx for a.a. god and you people for keepin another brother sober today!