As active alcoholics we were always looking for a handout in one way or another. “THE TWELVE TRADITIONS ILLUSTRATED,” p. 14
The challenge of the Seventh Tradition is a personal challenge, reminding me to share and give of myself. Before sobriety the only thing I ever supported was my habit of drinking. Now my efforts are a smile, a kind word, and kindness. I saw that I had to start carrying my own weight and to allow my new friends to walk with me because, through the practice of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, I’ve never had it so good.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Some people don’t seem to need it but some obviously do. Some are sicker than others. I elected to go to treatment because the respected people that had the most power over me suggested that I “damn well better”. They just simply said if I didn’t do it they would not welcome me back into their midst and they were so firm this time that I knew they meant business.
I had been freeloading off them for some time and they knew it. They would have to take up the slack and fill in for me because more and more I was failing to meet my personal responsibilities. That’s because I was inebriated (impaired) to some extent a good bit of the time.
In the treatment process they had ways of “putting someone on the hot seat” and apparently attacking their character to the core. There were some very uncomfortable sessions because instead of the apparent victim in this process all of us were victims.
One in particular I remember was a dentist and they began by asking him the question, “When are you going to stop being a freeloader?”
He became quite angry and attempted to defend himself but I’m sure they broke through.
They broke through to me.
One of the things they taught us repeatedly was the fact that recovery is completed in the rooms and Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. They said treatment is only an introductory step of a lifelong process.
I wanted to get well.
I decided to take wise advice, to follow wise counsel and I have been doing it ever since.
I am a recovered alcoholic because I no longer have a hopeless state of mind and body.
I am a recovering alcoholic because I am still in the process of realizing the fullest potential of a spiritual program.
I’m Harry; Grateful.
I had not thought of the fact that I was a freeloader when I was an active alcoholic. More than I thought, I was supported, carried by the good will of others. I guess I was simply using them to maintain my alcoholic lifestyle.
Of course if all I considered was ME, then my ego got a free ride at the expense of fellow travelers.
I own those people my life and didn’t seriously live in appreciation of their gifts, or attempt to “straighten” out my sorry life.
I still have a lot of amends to make that I hadn’t thought of! While I have attempted to make amends to the people I had directly hurt, I forgot the many others. The many others were all those other people who gave me the benefit of doubt, were charitable.
And yet they prevented me from “crashing and burning”! Yeah, I used them quite effectively.
I’m alive and thankful to God. I try not to use people for any reason, for my own selfish needs. Practically this means that I stop manipulating people to get what I want. That is not an easy thing to do. It means that I have to examine my motives which at times are far from “pure”.
I just read yesterdays reflection and comments. I left a brief note there.
Wow, I always seem to get what I need! We are doing a Health Fair at work this week and I’ve been responsible for creating posters. Of course they wouldn’t put up a poster addressing alcoholism or drug dependencies (even though we have a A&D policy and committee), so I put together some information on obesity. I did a lot of internet searching, and I am always drilling down to get more information on random things that catch my attention.
I rediscovered a word I’m not sure I ever understood before – Gluttony. I’m not focusing on eating too much (you hardly ever see a skinny old-timer lol) or drinking too much (we’ve all been there), but on the bigger sense that I always demand more than my fair share of anything consumable (love, attention, time, energy, space).
Then I come in here and get nailed by Bill W’s words. I have always been looking for handouts — I want the share I worked for and the share that you worked for too. That’s why I’m rubbing up against the old-timers, I want the sobriety I’ve worked for and all their wisdom too (a little might rub off but most of the stuff I’ve had to go out and prove to myself anyway). As I’ve heard said at many meetings, “My drug of choice is MORE” and “My drink of choice is whatever YOU are buying.” Do I run my sobriety the same way?
I think I’ve found something to meditate on for the rest of the day while I try to earn my keep at work, at home, and in my home group.
What I get from this:
1. I need to give more than $1 in the basket. I am financially secure. My $3 to $5 contribution should continue unless my finances get so bad that I give up coffee and fast food/eating at restaurants. AA is more important than those things. If I am spending in other areas but not giving to the basket, then my priorities are wrong. I still find it hard to put more than $1 in the basket.
2. I need to be in service, I am responsible for doing some of the work to keep the group going. I need to go the extra mile in that service.
I am heading off to a meeting at 12 noon in Oceano CA. I have $20 in my pocket and pay day is around the corner. Usually smaller groups contribute smaller amounts and larger groups fill a basket to overflow.
One day I had passed the basket and it came back with $1 and there were about 5 people attending. I put in $5 to average out the number of people attending. (5 for 5 as a way to have some order in my life and hence a feeling of control……mmmmm) I am going to try find out how much is needed in the long haul to keep my meeting afloat as there is a larger steering committee that keeps the building open, etc. I am fairly new being a secretary. Keep coming back, Thank You all.