Love and tolerance of others in our code. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84
I have found that I have to forgive others in all situations to maintain any real spiritual progress. The vital importance of forgiving may not be obvious to me at first sight, but my studies tell me that every great spiritual teacher has insisted strongly upon it. I must forgive injuries, not just in words, or as a matter of form, but in my heart. I do this not for the other persons’ sake, but for my own sake. Resentment, anger, or a desire to see someone punished, are things that rot my soul. Such things fasten my troubles to me with chains. They tie me to other problems that have nothing to do with my original problem.
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I feel that the Daily Reflection is written just as if God were writing me a personal little note.
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I agree and like this writing. I also think thy forgiving ourselves is a powefull tool as well. Likeany alcoholics I will beat myself up over my mistakes. Recently I have forgiving myself frees me fro obsessive thoughts and makes me available to others.
This reflection leads me to see why I need God to realize the full potential of spiritual healing. I thought that I had been forgiving people for a large part of my adult life. But I had only been forgiving them superficially with my lips. In truth I didn’t know how to truly forgive with my heart, until I experienced God’s forgiveness for myself. Now every time I need to forgive someone, I need only look at how God has forgiven me (and everyone else). He gives me the needed power to forgive. He does for me what I cannot do for myself.
Is it right to forgive someone again and again if they keep on doing the same bad thing to you over and over?
When I am in a state of unforgiving I am dragging the past into the present. Further I obsess over it, write the script 100 ways = torture myself. The other person is going about their day non-the-wiser. Forgive and do the next right thing.
Mysterio: If you do what you always did you will get what you always got. Screw me once shame on you (forgive)
screw me twice shame on me!(change)
Forgiving people is the easy part, how about asking forgiveness from the things WE have done?
What if I have done nothing to the person, my father, since the time I did my 9th step with him?
A wonderful quote from the Big Book! I just shared this quoted text with a women on an AA closed group that I’ve been in for 15 years. This women consistently takes offense at some of the items that are posted in that group, particularly from one other member. I’ve repeated written that we each need to “take what we need and leave the rest”, yet she cannot resist the urge to contend. Contention is not of God, love and tolerance is. So, today I reminded her through this quote in the Big Book that if I am in a fit spiritual condition, I will be able to take what I need and leave the rest. If I cannot, then I need to look at my own behavior and talk with a sponsor about it, perhaps doing a 10th step with her.
Mysterio, I don’t see that anyone responded to you. If your situation is abusive, then it’s important to remove yourself from your situation. If you are feeling offended, then see my post above. It’s important to remember that in our active state of alcoholism, we have all wreaked havoc and harm on those around us. It may be days, years or never before our loved ones forgive us. All we can do is stay sober and continue to make amends to those we have harmed by being good people, making good choices. It does not matter whether they ever forgive us. We must forgive them and live our lives in a way that honors the God of our own understanding.