Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59
Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone. At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful, wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity. Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing — and able — to change.
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How very true. I always have that split second of choice where I can either do it my way (usually painful) or ask for God’s help not to do it my way (usually works out much better than I expected)! I find it very hard sometimes to let go enough to even ask for help. I pray I will get better with practice, and for the willingness to do so.
I abosolutely cannot agree more with this daily reflection. Everyday I make a decision is a turning point, good or bad. Lately I have found myself teetering back and forth trying to decide if this is the life for me, and that’s mainly because I haven’t completely offered myself to a higher power of my understanding. This reading, however, is the fire under my butt to keep it moving and to commit whole-heartedly.
Every day I must surrender. I must let my higher power guide me & give me the strength & courage to go what I must do. My will does not work. Things work out well if I stay out of the way.
This was the TOPIC of discussion at my Mtg. 2nite (1/7/09). 48 Hrs. later after hearing “half measures availed us nothing” from my Sponsor when I asked her if I could re-join my bowling team (what was I thinking?!?!) I end up at a meeting discussing IT! That is a GOD thing. Reading this in its ENTIRETY is exactly where I am failing in my Program. I DO now see clearly that I need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. I need to be AWARE of my character defects daily as well as think differently in order to change to be the person GOD wants me to be. I NOW see clearly that self-pity, anger, wanting to get even, being prideful, having ulterior motives, being argumentative and combative (BOY, I can go on and ON) only paralyze my efforts to change. Even though I pray every morning and nite, go to meetings regularly, and TRY to help another alcoholic…if I don’t FEEL in my heart to want to change, I won’t.