Do we lay the matter before our sponsor or spiritual adviser, earnestly asking God’s help and guidance – meanwhile resolving to do the right thing when it becomes clear, cost what it may? Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Pages 86 & 87
My belief in a Higher Power is an essential part of my work on Step Nine; forgiveness, timing, and right motives are the other ingredients. My willingness to do the Step is a growing experience that opens the door for new and honest relationships with the people I have harmed. My responsible action brings me closer to the spiritual principles of the program – love and service. Peace of mind, serenity, and a stronger faith are sure to follow.
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It’s important to not overlook the value of a sponsor in working steps 8 and 9. For the newcomer, these steps are simply terrifying to consider. Even when I reached those steps, there were many amends I did not want to make or even think about. My sponsor allowed me to divide my eighth step list into three colums: “Yes,” “Maybe” and “No” for amends I wanted to make, amends I was unsure of, and amends I wanted to avoid. He told me that over time, each column would drift toward “Yes.” Finally, I was willing to make amends to my father. I was scared of the outcome, so I wrote down what I wanted to say and rehearsed it over the phone with my sponsor. Supported by his encouragement, I met with my dad and made amends for years of conflict and hard feelings. Our relationship changed from that moment, and ever since that time, he has been one of my best friends. Steps 8 and 9 are truly life-changing, but we should always walk through them with our sponsor by our side.