But does trust require that we be blind to other people’s motives or, indeed, to our own? Not at all; this would be folly. Most certainly, we should assess the capacity for harm as well as the capability for good in every person that we would trust. Such a private inventory can reveal the degree of confidence we should extend in any given situation. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 144
I am not a victim of others, but rather a victim of my expectations, choices and dishonesty. When I expect others to be what I want them to be and not who they are, when they fail to meet my expectations, I am hurt. When my choices are based on self-centeredness, I find I am lonely and distrustful. I gain confidence in myself, however, when I practice honesty in all my affairs. When I search my motives and am honest and trusting, I am aware of the capacity for harm in situations and can avoid those that are harmful.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
There are times when others truly do harm us and are we are virtually blameless. I want to know how I still love that person ? My ex purposely kept my 6 yr old from daughter from me on father’s day and I know 100% in my heart that I did nothing wrong. How do I pray that she receives all the good that I wish for myself ?
Almost 9 yrs sober and still confused at times….
I was told that the prayer was not so much for the other person as for me. I would begin to see, as the 4th Step discussion in the Big Book says, there are sick people out there.
As the old saying goes: Hurt people hurt people and Sick people do sick things.
Treat her as you would any other sick person.
Does not feel good, but the gratitude is that you can feel today and not find it necessary to take a drink.
Praying for the best for you.
Thanks Thomask for your kind words, my main concern is getting rid of this nasty resentment that I am carrying like a cancer around my neck…. I just realized that I am not asking for His help. Thanks again for your comment.