“. . . You can . . . make A.A. itself your ‘higher power.’ Here’s a very large group of people who have solved their alcohol problem. . . . many members . . . have crossed the threshold just this way. . . . their faith broadened and deepened. . . . transformed, they came to believe in a Higher Power. . . ” TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 27-28
No one was greater than I, at least in my eyes, when I was drinking. Nevertheless, I couldn’t smile at myself in the mirror, so I came to A.A. where, with others, I heard talk of a Higher Power. I couldn’t accept the concept of a Higher Power because I believed God was cruel and unloving. In desperation I chose a table, a tree, then my A.A. group, as my Higher Power. Time passed, my life improved, and I began to wonder about this Higher Power. Gradually, with patience, humility and a lot of questions, I came to believe in God. Now my relationship with my Higher Power gives me the strength to live a happy, sober life.
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This reminds me of the parable of the blind men and the elephant. I can call my higher power a fan, a snake, or whatever I perceive it to be, as long as I acknowledge a power greater than me. As time goes by I can continue to investigate and refine my views; it is a huge relief to admit that I don’t hold the power. And I can see that as a drainpipe, pillar, throne, home group, whatever.